Not having time to write. Having time to write, but lacking motivation. Having motivation, but not penning a word.
I’m not as good as Sarah Dessen. That kid on Twitter is younger than me, and they already have a book deal. This other author has more reviews than me, and her book is newer than mine. No one’s added my book as Read on Goodreads yet. I haven’t sold any copies this month. I don’t care about book marketing anymore.
How can I even call myself a real writer?
Branching off my post from last week, comparing yourself to other authors will give you Writer Anxieties. And, me being me, I already have enough anxieties as it is. I released my first novel in February through Createspace, and as much as I want the thing to become, you know, a thing, I know it’s going to take a lot more effort than I can put in right now. Don’t get me wrong; I still love writing, but I’m getting worn out on marketing. At first, this blog was a breeze. I had all these ideas about what I wanted to post, but as the weeks go by, those ideas are quickly depleting. When I get home from work, I don’t feel like writing that often. And, when I do, I’m worried about what y’all will think.
Sometimes I wish I could just go back to that carefree attitude I had when I wrote the first draft of Can’t Beat the Heart of a Carolina Girl. The meticulous things that prevent me from writing never bothered me then. It was just me, my laptop, and my room… never an anxiety to found.
Of course, I was an underclassman in high school then. Now I’m a college graduate, working full-time, and dating a rather amazing guy. As much as I love my life now, I wish I could still plow through those pages like I did at 15.
But, I’m not giving up. I’ve felt like this in the past, and I know it’s just a phase. If God wants me to finish my other novels, I’ll get them done with His guidance. The fame of those novels is in His hands too. I can market all I want, but at the end of the day, it’s all up to God.
So, there are my Writer Anxieties. What anxieties do you face as a writer or published author?